


Vowel Trouble

by GretchenSinister



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 08:15:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19786894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: Original Prompt: "So I’ve only ever heard “Boogeyman” pronounced as “Bohgeyman” and so when I saw the film, it was almost a shock to hear it pronounced differently. and it gave me some strange mental images.What I want to see is there being a difference between the Bogeyman and the Boogieman; the Bogeyman frightens children, whilst the Boogieman…dances. Neither of them like to get mixed up, because what self respecting creature of nightmares wants to be mistaken for the man who almost never stops singing “Boogie Wonderland” or “Footloose”? And what dancer wants to be mistaken for that weirdo underneath a bed?"Terpsichore is under the impression that the Guardians have pointlessly beat up one of her minions, and a confusing time is had by all.





	Vowel Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 4/16/2016.

“And so I think to myself, Jack, you’d better be _sure_ about the number of arms you saw, otherwise you’re never going to enjoy bubble tea again—”  
  
A sudden pounding at the door interrupts Jack in the middle of his story, and North goes to answer it while Tooth and Sandy try to regain their composure, and Bunny gives Jack a very serious look. “This isn’t going to end like the bee story, is it?”  
  
Tooth and Sandy start cracking up again, even as Sandy clumsily attempts to dab away Tooth’s tears of mirth.  
  
“Bunny! Of course not! Do you think I’d really end up replicating the events of the bee story more than once in my life?”  
  
“I really hope not! But I meant more like, is it in the same _genre_ , let’s say.”  
  
“I don’t want to spoil the ending for you, Bunny, that wouldn’t be nice.”  
  
Bunny puts his hand to his face and turns toward North, not for support—he had insisted on bringing up the onion debacle after Jack had told the bee story, and Bunny had really thought they had both agreed to forget that—but just to see what’s going on away from Jack.  
  
A yeti is telling North something with a great deal of urgency as North nods along. “Well, send her up,” North says as soon as the yeti finishes. “We will claim everything we have done as Guardians.”  
  
That sounds odd. And serious. Sandy and Tooth hear it, too, and do a much better job at pulling themselves together than before. “What’s going on?” Jack asks, and North has just enough time to say he doesn’t know before a tall, graceful woman in a flowing classical Greek dress enters the room.  
  
“Welcome, Terpsichore, this is certainly, ah, a surprise,” North says, with less than his usual bluster. “To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?”  
  
She looks around at all the other Guardians with an icy glare before settling on North. “I’ve heard that you recently fought the Boogeyman, and as the result of this fight he ended up trapped under the earth with no means of escaping.”  
  
“This is true,” North says, “but what—”  
  
“What on earth were you thinking, fighting a spirit like the Boogeyman? What possible threat could he have been to any of you? This has got to be the most irresponsible, pointless, not to say downright _mean_ , thing I’ve ever heard of you Guardians doing! Not to mention it makes more work for me, not only as part of my ordinary duties, but also because I’ve got to call in all these favors now to go get him out of wherever he’s stuck—”  
  
“Hold on a minute, can we talk about that for a second?” Bunny asks. “The Moon told us that the Boogeyman was back, and he even chose Jack Frost as a new Guardian to help us fight him. His threat was serious from the start.”  
  
“He stole the children’s memories from the Tooth Palace and kidnapped my fairies to make children stop believing in me,” Tooth says. “He smashed millions of Easter eggs in order to make children stop believing in Bunny! He misled and threatened Jack, and he shot Sandy in the back and it killed him for two days! He’s trapped underneath the ground because of his own weapons backfiring on him! We were justified in defending ourselves and the children from an eternity of nightmares, and as for him being trapped, he always gets out eventually. And I don’t really think it’s your job _at all_ to get him out from where he is.”  
  
“Of course it’s my job! I’m the muse of dance! But…wait. All those things you said, that doesn’t sound like something the Boogeyman would do.”  
  
“Pitch has not shown much inclination to do anything much different for centuries,” North says, puzzled.  
  
“Pitch?” Terpsichore sounds just as puzzled.  
  
“Pitch Black, the Boogeyman,” Bunny prompts.  
  
Realization dawns on Terpsichore’s face. “It was the Bohgeyman that you fought. Not the Boogieman.” She scowls. “I knew I shouldn’t have let him pick that name when he became a spirit with the death of disco! I’m too old to keep up with foreign accents! And this means that he’s been slacking, because I really thought he was trapped underground! I bet it was the Boogieman in disguise that told me about the Bohgeyman being trapped in the first place! Ooh, he is _not_ going to get away with this. I’ve gotta go. Bye everyone!” She literally sashayed out of the room, leaving the Guardians to look at each other in confused silence for several seconds.  
  
“Well…” North says, closing the door. “That is a new one.”  
  
Sandy signs a question.  
  
“I don’t _think_ a pronunciation problem could drain Pitch’s powers away from him,” Tooth says, and Sandy signs some more. “Well, yes, perhaps it would be worth investigating. And—um—maybe it wouldn’t be exactly amusing, not to the Boogieman, for sure, to tell Pitch if it _was_ true…but I suppose it would get him out of his normal routine.” She makes a face. “How about we at least let Jack finish the tea story first?” 

**Author's Note:**

> Tags and comments from Tumblr:
> 
> #to be honest I don't actually know what happened in the bee story #or the tea story or the onion debacle 
> 
> kazechama reblogged this from sylphidine and added:  
> That song! Man. That song inspired things
> 
> kazechama said: This is a great story.
> 
> sylphidine reblogged this from gretchensinister and added:  
> It may come as a shock to you all that I love anything having to do with dance. I can actually see this happening.


End file.
